In life do not collect what you sow, collect what you care for.

The ways of being

The ways of being, in Multifactorial Psychology, are identified by three different variables. Each of these variables contributes to determining people’s approach to life and thus to composing the structure of the person.

Let’s see now in detail the categories of Multifactorial Psychology and how they can determining all the ways of being. We will illustrate all the combinations that can happen in the psychic experience of a person.

In this way we will outline a manual of possible healthy and unhealthy ways of being, which can be seen as personality profiles. They are not defined by a simple empirical description but, according to the Multifactorial Psychology, they are the synthesis of three different variables.


The human types

The human types are independent variables, as they do not contribute in determining the discomfort and no action is taken on them during the psychotherapeutic process. We are talking here about them because we need to know them to understand what really needs to be changed, and to be able to distinguish the conditioned structures in the best possible way.

There are six different human types.

Every single person embodies a different one. Together with the other variables (modalities and styles) they contribute to determining the way in which each individual relates to the world.

The human types represent six types of dispositions, six inclinations, six attitudes, six natures. Together with the (healthy and conditioned) and the styles (healthy and conditioned), they create the self-expression of each individual.

They are hereditary, so they could be considered as independent variables, able to interact with the other elements in determining the way each individual will establish relationships with the others.

The human types differ from one another. The differentiation of the human types depends on the fact that each of them is defined by two specific peculiarities, two particular properties.

We have two groups of these peculiarities: there are three kinds of implications and two kinds of inclinations. And in each human type we can find one of the three implications and one of the two inclinations.

 

The three implications are:

  1. A push to gratification feeling entitled to satisfy own personal needs;
  2. A push to compete: feeling entitled to contend, to confront with the other, to compete;
  3. A push to prevail: feeling legitimized to dominate, to express their own;

The two inclinations are:

  1. Propensity to emerge: inclination to self-affirmation;
  2. Inhibition to emerge: inability to self-affirmation;

 

Every human type is the combination of an implication and an inclination. The possible types can be represented by the cartesian chart illustrated in the graph below, where the three elements on the x-axis marked by the numbers (1-2-3) are the implications and the two elements on the two y-axis marked by the alphabetical letters (A-B) are the inclinations.

The result of that combination are six points of confluence, that correspond to the six human types: A1, A2, A3, B1, B2, B3.

 

 

tipiumani

 

Each type is different but equally legitimate, and no one has a greater value than another one.

Human types express no form of discomfort. When they are activated in a person where the healthy ways of being are prevalent, they are lived in their best form, while when they are activated in a person where the unhealthy ways of being are prevalent, these they are lived in an unhealthy form.

The human type cannot turn into another one, not even through important and meaningful experiences, and it always remains the same throughout the whole lifetime. So under no circumstances can may A1 become B1, nor A3, nor anything else. And it’s the same for the others.


A1
He/She has an inclination to emerge (A) and a need of gratification (1). He/She is centred on him/herself, on his/her needs that are considered as vital. He/She does not dwell on frustrations. He/She is open and not particularly angular, but lazy. He/She tends to be overweight. It gets himself/herself drained in terms of energies spent. He/She is open to start a therapy.

A2
He/She has an inclination to emerge (A) and a push to compete (2). He/She must establish him/herself as a winner. He/She is haughty, authoritative and distinguished. He/She has strong social ambitions. The physical structure is proportionate. He/She cares for aesthetics, and he/she does not accept therapy, as he/she would be equivalent to a personal defeat.

A3
He/She has an inclination to emerge (A) and a push for dominance (3). He/She must stand over the others and domitate. He/She appears as authoritarian and particularly threatening, superb and full of him/herself. The appearance looks strong but vigorous. The A3 woman has masculine features. Very rarely he/she accepts therapy.

B1
He/She has an inhibition to emerge (B) and a push to gratification (1). He/She is striving to satisfy his/her own needs, but he/she is inhibited from from presenting himself as satisfied. He/She needs acceptance and support. It He/She arouses benevolence. The body is harmonious and not very energetically charged. The B1 man has feminine traits. It He/She gets into therapy quite frequently.

B2
He/She has inhibition to emerge (B) and a push to compete (2).
 He/She must compete without being able to feel him/herself as a winner. It He/She tries to prove that it is not inferior. He/she is persevering and responsible, angular and obstinate. It He/She has a slim structure, it he/she is agile, tense and snappy. He/She frequently gets into psychotherapy.

B3
He/She has inhibition to emerge (B) and a push to domination (3).
He/she must fight but is prevented from dominating the others. It He/She tries to not being submissive. He/She is haughty and oppositional, impulsive and eccentric. The body is tapered and flexuous. It He/She has seductive ways. He/She tends to enter therapy quite frequently.

 

The healthy modality

The healthy mode is a predictive model of the experience that the individual can feel when they feel they are being accepted, in which case they live sociability and they also build healthy emotional relationships.

 

modalita_sana_ENG
The relationship between the elements of the individual and the others stays on an equal level at the intrapsychic level. The individual lives a feeling of freedom and a constant acceptance and they have a benevolent attitude for reciprocity, they are the co-makers of a serene and safe relational climate. Affection is free from the fear of rejection and abandonment. It lives the sense of security, given by being able to co-create a positive relational climate.


The conditioned modalities

In the conditioned ways the parity of the two elements (The person / Other), at the intrapsychic level is going to alter, this happens in 4 different possible modes. The individual modes conditionated are placed within a scheme that connects them and which explains the role and the qualities of each of them.

 

Modalita_INGLESE

 


Common characteristics of the conditioned modalities

The conditioned modalities are four unhealthy modes of experiencing affection and it springs from the wounds suffered during the childhood phase. They are unsuccessful and unintentional attempts in trying to gain amiability and acceptance when they are afraid of not receiving it. They are subject to the lack of balance between the elements of the intrapsychic relationship (onesellf/the Other). The modalities cover but do not resolve the fear of rejection, which becomes from a prophecy that determines itself and which ends up by perpetuating itself.


conditioned modality

 

I_modalita_condizionata_INGLESE

 

In the I modality he/she individual considers himself superior in a relative way, because he feels that it is the other that places them in that specific position. This conditioned mode can be called a child-only syndrome. The individual is very determined and assertive to the point of being dominant, but only when he feels that there is a specific bond, such as the family one, to which they can refer. They find it difficult to orientate themselves in the other types of relationships, unless they are able to recreate a relationship of that kind even outside the family of origin. The relationship of the couple is absolutely fundamental for them. The risk of depression is frequent. The anxiety and anguish so often denied are due to the fear of abandonment. He / she does not go to therapy, because they are not in a mental state where they could and should change.


II
conditioned modality

II_modalita_condizionata_INGLESE

 

In the II modality the individual experiences a sense of inferiority, and he / she can deal with it. Self-esteem is always of a good standard and he / she is strong and confident. He / she does not refer to what he does not like, because he avoids it. The affection is absolutely limited: it is content, serious and rigid, sometimes particularly cold. It can also be rude. On the other hand, it is very practical, concrete and avoids the “management” of emotions. In the past, it has also broken all relationships with emotions, especially to avoid the painful ones, linked to the fear of rejection. It takes decisions based on values that it considers incontestable. He / she does not seem to be afraid, in reality he avoids fears. Work becomes the predominant commitment of his life. The discomfort tends to express itself with the conversion symptoms. He/She avoids, as long as they can, entering therapy.


III
conditioned modality 

III_modalita_condizionata_INGLESE

 

In the III modality, the individual feels absolutely superior and he/she feels special. Admiration is expected from others. Self-esteem is absolutely excessive. They do not accept any form of disconfirmation. When they fall into bankruptcy they always blame the Others, the responsibility is always outside of themselves. It presents its importance as if it were always in front of an interested public. It stands out like the peacock: in a non-aggressive way. He / She is charming, capricious, affable and jovial but not empathetic. He/She seems to go out in his private life. There are often forms of dependency and superficiality in the management of work situations. And they don’t rely on therapy, He/She could do it in an instrumental mode.


IV
conditioned modality

IV_modalita_condizionata_INGLESE

 

In IV modality, the individual feels irremediably inferior. He is always afraid of not being accepted, he lives the sense of guilt, sometimes even of loneliness, fragility and imminent danger. He / she is not able to solve or hide this (even in his / her own eyes), and this feeling of inadequacy tries to overcome two different strategies: trying to please the other and / or be perfect to the their eyes. What the other thinks of them is always crucial. When they feel welcomed and reassured, their negative image momentarily improves, but later returns to the previous low levels. He/she is emotional, self-esteem varies a lot in a short period of time, depending on how others judge it: when it feels welcomed and judged positively by the Others, it goes up for a while but then collapses again. He/She presents anxiety of expectation compared to new situations, because he/she has to face unknown people who could judge him/her negatively. Nothing could help him remember how many times in the past he experienced the same situations and successfully passed the same ones. He / she often has a bad mood and experiences anxiety and potentially even panic attacks. There are always psychosomatic disorders. There may be hypochondria. Those that are under this specific mode often seek therapy.

 

Healthy style

Healthy style describes a predictive model of how the individual can affirm himself/herself, and the healthy way in which he could take his own living space. The individual feels recognized and respected and offers the same to the world. He/she affirms itself through its own qualities and desires, but at the same time it feels that it this is equally valid for others. Therefore, he/she prefers the natural alternation of the affirmation of the different individuals present in a specific context. Through the metaphor of this stage, it can be easily affirmed that: the person knows that sooner or later the spotlight will also be focused on himself/herself, he/she values the performance of others and he/she waits patiently the him/her turn and when this arrives he/she will have no issues to manifest himself/herself.

 

stile_sano_INGLESE

 

The healthy style, as well as the conditioned ones, could be also described through the garden metaphor as the individual’s living space. It then happens that the healthy individual takes good care of its garden and it is inclined to welcome the others who appreciate it and who live it, by being able in giving and receiving its gifts. At the same time, it is easy for him/her to lead himself/herself into someone else’s garden, if properly invited or if he/she is authorized to do so. And, once inside, they will be able to enjoy and appreciate it, by giving and receiving, as it happened in the opposite situation. They feel the right to demand respect for their own territory/garden, but they also know how to do the same when they entertain themselves in that of the others.

The conditioned styles

Definition:

The influenced styles are basically dysfunctional ways of managing relationships, due to the fact that through them we tend to exercise our control according to 8 different ways, as illustrated in the following diagram, where the metaphor defines the garden as the living space of an individual.

 

stili_INGLESE

 

Common characteristics of conditioned styles

The 8 conditioned styles are predictive models referred to the modes through which you finf to force  the Other to “make room for him” if he fears that he will be prevented. If on the stage of life you think that the spotlights will never arrive, you try to force his hand to get them. They are unhealthy modes of expressing self-assertion and unintended unsuccessful attempts to gain attention They deal with power relations and conflicts in trying to manage relationships and they translate theyself into exercising control. They cover but do not resolve the fear of non-recognition: they present theirself as a prophecy that determines itself, perpetuating itself.

 I conditioned style

He/she enters the garden of others in the conviction that the Other is happy about it. He/She is self-centered: his/her intrusiveness always has a subjective interest that he/she believes is shared by the Other. He/She is often in a good mood and satisfied with what he/she is and what he/she has/does in their everyday lives. It is often inappropriate.  He / she makes his way as he was are doing a favor to the Other. He/she does not understand the indifference or the needs of the Other. If rejected, he/she is amazed and disappointed at the same, but then he/she does not resist. He/she rarely goes under therapy and if he/she was to go there, he/she would complain  about who disappointed them, this because he/she does not question himselves/herselves.

 II conditioned style

He/she invades the garden of others expressly. He/she breaks down all resistance. He/she has the territory of others at his/her leisure. He/she expresses a sense of arrogance that he wants to be evident to everyone. He/she explicitly intends to impose himself: he subdues and intimidates. The Other is perceived either as an ally or as an enemy. He/she is selfish. It is difficult for him to delay his desires. He/she does not tolerate frustrations. If hindered he/she can react violently. The fault is always of the Other. He/she does not admit mistakes even when he/she is aware of them. He does not go to therapy, nor does he understand the need to go there.

III conditioned style

He/she enters the garden of others to give the right advice to improve it, expecting a positive welcome. The concept of self is good. He/she is happy with what he/she is and what he/she does. He/she builds his/her own ways by making right observations, convinced that they will be well received by the others. he/she presents presumptuous. He/she seems that hei/her have the truth in pockets. He/she often ends up by making a bit of nuisance and he/she ends up feeling like given definitions “talking cricket”, “schoolmarm”, etc. He/she is capable and helpful, but also know-all and evaluative. He/she usually ends up going under therapy when his/her relationships get particularly complicated.

IV conditioned style

Once he/she enters on the garden of others, he/she always finds a mode to make observations and criticisms. He/she sees mistakes even where there are none, he/she must criticize. He/she must blame, especially those who are very close to him/her. He/she is so full of anger and le/she always expresses him/her disapproval. He/she doesn’t give a second chance. He/she makes contexts very heavy and he/she tends to limit the spontaneity of others. He/she tends to use others, through requests, which he/she feels there are legitimate, especially with those with whom he has deep ties. In fact, reciprocity is lacking in this individual. When he/she does or says something there is a hidden purpose. He/she is aware of his shortcomings, but he/she also denies theirs to himselfis. He/she goes to therapy just for the relational problems he/she faces.

V conditioned style

He/she is in his/her garden, hoping that the Other will come to animate he/she. He/she comes alive if someone comes to keep him company. The attention and the availability of the Other change his mood. He/she is self-centered: he wants for himself/herself, he/she does not think of reciprocity. He/she has problems living intimacy. He/she has few interests and initiatives. He/she is interested in sedentary activities (eg, Pc, TV,). The presence of the partner is essential, he/she closes by himself/herself. He/she almost never goes to therapy. He/she thinks he doesn’t need  it.

VI conditioned style

He/ she opens his own garden, this seems to him/her a gesture of great generosity, from who enters he demands a high interest. He/she thinks he/she is doing and giving much (not always rightly) and he/she thinks it is right to receive the same. He/she presents an excess of claims (even inappropriate). He/she ends up suffering a lot from someone he fears losing. He/she reprimands the Other for his alleged breaches. He/she always feels frustrations, even when there are none: they are experienced as a completely undeserved injustice. He/s he harasses the Other in wanting to make to understand him faults and wrongs. The couple relationship is central to him/her. He/she is an applicant and suffocating. He/she goes into therapy in the hope that the therapist will agree with him.

VII conditioned style

He/ she does not defend their territories from invasions because he/she does not consider Others as hostile. He / she the “good guys” who behaves as the Other wants from him /her. From this he/she derives a good judgment of himself/herself. He/she can endure long and long. he is not proactive. He/she lets the Other decide. He/she does not choose, he does not take a position. He/she is usually very helpful and welcoming, but he/she does not put us the enthusiasm into his / her doing. He/she could secretly do something he/she knows to be wrong it. He/she could often lie, even without a specific reason, how to escape control / judgment . “You don’t have to know anything about me.” He/she look for a figure of reference, of which he/she undergoes the choices. He/she tends to look for the therapist when he/she loses him/her point of reference.

VIII conditioned style

He/she invites the Other to enjoy of the him/her garden, when, in him/her opinion, they need it. Instead, he/she withdraws from the requests. He/she always want to be helpful and he/she activates himself/herself to support the Other. He/she expects to be recognized as such. He/she seeks for to bear long time, even if, at some point, he/she tends to get annoyed. He/she has difficulties in receiving because he/she thinks to end in debt. He/she thinks to understand what happens better than anyone else, even what is good or bad for the Others and, for this, he/she is  presumptuous. He/she must have in control of the situations, and he/she always tries to centralize on himself/herself. The fear of losing control makes him/he restless and anxious. He/she often relies on the therapy, because to him/her the accounts never return.

 

Categories that constitute healthy ways of being

Among the categories described above are presented here those that are the components of healthy ways of being, according to the following table:

 

modalita_sana_stile_sano_tipi_umani_INGLESE

 

What actually distinguishes one from the other is the different human type that they live. Each individual can inherit only one human type and therefore he/she can live only one healthy way of being.

In determining healthy ways of being, we must take into account that there is only the healthy modality and the healthy style and they are always link one to the other, resulting in a single combination, which, according to the human types, constitutes the six healthy ways of being. These are the expressions of the different forms of living the well-being in conjunction with the others.

 

Categories that constitute the unhealthy ways of being

The categories described above are the elements of the unhealthy ways of being, as per the following chart:

 

Schermata 2019-06-03 alle 15.40.17

 

(Legend: M = conditioned modality;  S =  conditioned style)

 

The four conditioned modalities and the eight conditioned styles can determine 32 different combinations, to which a human type is linked and they could constitute 192 unhealthy ways of being. These are based on the concept of fear and they express all the multiple forms of discomfort, which is finally transferred to the human relationships lived by each individual.

The large variety of unhealthy ways of being (192) becomes very broad if we consider all of their possibilities to happen in a variety of intensity levels, ranging from mild to dramatically severe.

The unhealthy ways of being consist of one, and one only, out of the four conditioned modalities, one, and one only, out of the eight conditioned styles, and finally one, and one only, out of the six human types. These are the expressions of the multiple forms of psychological distress, which are based on the fear of rejection and non-consideration.

Everyone, during their childhood, was “pushed to choose” a conditioned modality and a conditioned style. And it cannot happen that one person goes from one conditioned modality to another. And exactly the same logic applies to conditioned style. A conditioned modality, once established in an individual, will tend to confirm or be replaced by the healthy modality, the same is true for styles.

 

The therapeutic intervention

A successful therapeutic intervention helps the patient in assuring the prevalence of his healthy part and the dereliction of the unhealthy part. To this point, the therapist has to first give his/her diagnosis by finding the specific characteristics of the patient’s unhealthy way of being, so his/her conditioned modality, his/her conditioned style and also the human type linked to them. Then he/she will also have to identify the intensity level of the unhealthy part within the patient.

The arrival point consists in helping the patient  he/she will always make use of the healthy categories, ie the healthy modality and the healthy style.

 

Learn more

If you want to learn more about the Multifactorial Psychology, you can download a free extract of the “Healthy and unhealthy ways of being” book, in which are presented the entire psychological theory and its applications during the therapeutic intervention.